Preparing for the best...
I just read this post from a blogger on Live Journal. And I'm trying to figure out how to respond to it. Here are the things that caught my attention:
She constantly writes about T*FA members who dropped out throughout the two years. To me, that's a huge problem with the program. Either they're not recruiting well or not training well.
I don't - no - can't be arrogant when I drive my little Vibe into the Baltimore city limits. I know the absolute WORST of teaching. And I guess I just feel that I would've left teaching by this point if I didn't find my students inspiring and the work meaningful in many different ways. And to me, this sounds horrible, but the types of stress the staff and corps members talk about seems so trivial and overrated. In the same breath I don't want to belittle anyone's experience. I think my mentality on that first day needs to be classified as laid back and go with the flow. And I'll stand behind that. I won't buy into their campaign of teacher bootcamp. That seems so ridiculous.
We (all the new corps members) are leaving things behind. Really hard things to leave behind. Nobody takes this leap without loss, so if we are willing to let go of things that matter why should we do so at the cost of our sanity? I'm not going to do it.
Not being stressed out and overwhelmed doesn't translate into not being dedicated. It translates into ultimate efficiency, because you can simply think.
I can't deny the volumes of negative ramblings I find on blogger about TF*A. It all only makes me thankful walking into their program with the background I have. I already know I love this. I know that. I can't believe I know it. But I do. It's possible I won't like Baltimore, but I can live anywhere for two years. But in the end, I love teaching. And starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions.
One thing that scared me was this quote: "Caitlin told me she'd be making 41,000 a year working in Baltimore public schools. Immediately my interests were piqued. That's not a bad paycheck for someone straight out of college" I respect her honesty. How was she to know that in the end, the paycheck isn't enough of a reinforcement for this type of work? Our society tells us that in our jobs, in a perfect situation (minus race and inequality), we will be justly rewarded for our work based on the amount of muscle and brain tissue contributed to the end product. At least that was my message growing up. The entire paragraph is all about what she'd be getting if she went into teaching, not really what she'd be giving. Although, often teachers enter for the wrong reasons and end up teaching for the right reasons (I know the ambiguous nature of right and wrong reasons). I respect her honesty in her initial decision-making process, because this jargon is taboo in ed world.
"I sat in a classroom learning to be a teacher for most of my day, and teaching kids for an hour of that day. I spent hours every night planning for one hour of teaching. I had about three trained and experienced teachers constantly on call to help me whenever I needed it. I worked in a group of four members, all of whom beat out thousands of people for a chance to make it into this program. We were ready. We were dedicated. We were going to rock the 25 children who set foot onto Clay middle school for five hours a day." -Okay. Honestly, that's going to bore the shit out of me. I just finished teaching for two years in a sometimes war zone, and I'm only going to have to teach one class!? Cake.
But then I can't act like that now can I? Could be wrong...
I have to be humble. Arrogance aside, I really didn't love the setup of my own student teaching situation at the time. My cooperating teacher said he had nothing to offer me, my supervisor never showed up and when she did show she told me about her personal problems, and I didn't learn anything in almost every single ed dept. class. But for an entire year, I taught and tested the waters on my own, relentlessly. I had my cooperating teacher in the room next door, and I had coworkers I adored. While I didn't always feel supported in my struggles, I had a "safe" (what a joke in the long run) zone to use. What a slap across the face, 1 hour, for the new corps members!?
As evilwonderbra writes her honest account, I write mine. And I don't want to bash anything she has to say, because I suspect it speaks to many people's experiences in TF*A. I also don't have an interest in serving my two years and then working for the program itself. I'm interested in the program's potential to develop my professionalism and skills.
Wow. I read that post and just felt like I hard to write something, anything to sort out my reactions and work through anxiety. It's all good. I'm doing the thing I love. Oh yeah - I'm alive dude.
She constantly writes about T*FA members who dropped out throughout the two years. To me, that's a huge problem with the program. Either they're not recruiting well or not training well.
I don't - no - can't be arrogant when I drive my little Vibe into the Baltimore city limits. I know the absolute WORST of teaching. And I guess I just feel that I would've left teaching by this point if I didn't find my students inspiring and the work meaningful in many different ways. And to me, this sounds horrible, but the types of stress the staff and corps members talk about seems so trivial and overrated. In the same breath I don't want to belittle anyone's experience. I think my mentality on that first day needs to be classified as laid back and go with the flow. And I'll stand behind that. I won't buy into their campaign of teacher bootcamp. That seems so ridiculous.
We (all the new corps members) are leaving things behind. Really hard things to leave behind. Nobody takes this leap without loss, so if we are willing to let go of things that matter why should we do so at the cost of our sanity? I'm not going to do it.
Not being stressed out and overwhelmed doesn't translate into not being dedicated. It translates into ultimate efficiency, because you can simply think.
I can't deny the volumes of negative ramblings I find on blogger about TF*A. It all only makes me thankful walking into their program with the background I have. I already know I love this. I know that. I can't believe I know it. But I do. It's possible I won't like Baltimore, but I can live anywhere for two years. But in the end, I love teaching. And starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions.
One thing that scared me was this quote: "Caitlin told me she'd be making 41,000 a year working in Baltimore public schools. Immediately my interests were piqued. That's not a bad paycheck for someone straight out of college" I respect her honesty. How was she to know that in the end, the paycheck isn't enough of a reinforcement for this type of work? Our society tells us that in our jobs, in a perfect situation (minus race and inequality), we will be justly rewarded for our work based on the amount of muscle and brain tissue contributed to the end product. At least that was my message growing up. The entire paragraph is all about what she'd be getting if she went into teaching, not really what she'd be giving. Although, often teachers enter for the wrong reasons and end up teaching for the right reasons (I know the ambiguous nature of right and wrong reasons). I respect her honesty in her initial decision-making process, because this jargon is taboo in ed world.
"I sat in a classroom learning to be a teacher for most of my day, and teaching kids for an hour of that day. I spent hours every night planning for one hour of teaching. I had about three trained and experienced teachers constantly on call to help me whenever I needed it. I worked in a group of four members, all of whom beat out thousands of people for a chance to make it into this program. We were ready. We were dedicated. We were going to rock the 25 children who set foot onto Clay middle school for five hours a day." -Okay. Honestly, that's going to bore the shit out of me. I just finished teaching for two years in a sometimes war zone, and I'm only going to have to teach one class!? Cake.
But then I can't act like that now can I? Could be wrong...
I have to be humble. Arrogance aside, I really didn't love the setup of my own student teaching situation at the time. My cooperating teacher said he had nothing to offer me, my supervisor never showed up and when she did show she told me about her personal problems, and I didn't learn anything in almost every single ed dept. class. But for an entire year, I taught and tested the waters on my own, relentlessly. I had my cooperating teacher in the room next door, and I had coworkers I adored. While I didn't always feel supported in my struggles, I had a "safe" (what a joke in the long run) zone to use. What a slap across the face, 1 hour, for the new corps members!?
As evilwonderbra writes her honest account, I write mine. And I don't want to bash anything she has to say, because I suspect it speaks to many people's experiences in TF*A. I also don't have an interest in serving my two years and then working for the program itself. I'm interested in the program's potential to develop my professionalism and skills.
Wow. I read that post and just felt like I hard to write something, anything to sort out my reactions and work through anxiety. It's all good. I'm doing the thing I love. Oh yeah - I'm alive dude.
